north indian version of marriage

North indian version of marriage ( based on Pāraskara Sūtra) 

people ( especially modern ones ) don't understand what is marriage they think its just certain boring and too much of rituals with no significance .

nowadays marriage is just a name sake marriage because nobody knows the sanskrit that's why people think its some useless stuff ,

so i would go only on explaination and signification of mantras and acts.

Because if you understand this much you would understand entire marriage ceremony.

dwAra pooja 

The wedding venue is technically the “Home” of the bride, so the groom’s party

is welcomed at the gate with customary ceremonies done by the women of the

family. What is done varies from community to community but the intention is to

create auspiciousness and to avert negative influences.

Milini

Milini is the “meeting” of the relatives of the two sides. Usually done by

Punjabis. The respective male members of the two families meet, greet, garland

and hug each other. Fathers, brothers, uncles etc.

The mantras chanted by the priests are from the final hymn of the Rig Veda:—

( only meanings are been given for making you all understand its significance)

“Meet together, talk together, let your minds comprehend in

harmony; In like manner as the ancient gods concurring, accepted

their portion of the sacrifices.”

“May you pray together in harmony, may you strive for common

goals with a common purpose, may you have associated desires. I

repeat for you a common prayer, I offer for you a common

oblation.”

“United be your intention, united be your hearts, united your

thoughts, so that there may be a thorough harmony among you.”

The father of the bride then welcomes the groom. He anoints his forehead with

sandalwood paste and rice grains and places a garland around his neck.

“O noble son, with this tilak may you have longevity, health,

excellence, radiance, and blazing intellect!”

The women perform ārati which is the waving of a tray with auspicious objects

and a light in front of the groom. The exact method of doing this varies from

family to family. There are traditional songs which are sung by the women at this

time.

The groom’s party is led to the pandal and the groom takes his seat.

The priest assists the groom to perform a Ganesha puja for the removal of all hindrances

 ( ganesha is removal of obstacles )

Kankana Dhāraṇa

A sacred protective thread is tied to the groom’s right wrist.

2.. Vara Pūjā

(Reception of the Groom)

On the day of their wedding the couple are regarded as the embodiments of

Vishnu and Lakshmi. Vishnu being the Preserver of the trinity the couple as

householders will be participating in His work of maintaining the society and the

world. As the embodiment of Vishnu the groom is invited and worshipped by the

bestower of the bride.

3... Kanyā Āgamana

(Arrival of the Bride)

The bride now makes her entrance accompanied by her bridal party. How the

bride approaches the canopy is an individual matter nowadays. Sometimes she is

accompanied by her uncles, and sometimes by her friends or bride’s maids.

Sometimes she is carried in a palanquin.

She approaches the pandal and meets the groom outside and the couple stand

facing each other and then when the priest recites the following mantra they

garland each other :—

“May all the Directive Energies of the Cosmos unite our hearts, may the

Universal Principles, the Life Force and the heavens keep us two

together.” (Rig V.10.85.47).

4. Vastra Dānam

(Presentation of Clothing)

The groom now presents the bride with a set of clothing. According to some

Grihya Sutras the clothes are given by the groom’s side and some say that 4 items

of clothing are given by the bride’s father — one for the groom and one for the

bride.

The groom takes 2 for himself and presents the bride with her set. The following

mantras are recited:—

“Wear this garment and may you have fame and longevity, and may we

live together until old age. With your grace may we live together for an

hundred autumns, enjoying well-being, prosperity and ever increasing

our knowledge.”

“O lover of song, may these our chants encompass you on every side;

strengthening you with long life, may they bring delight to you.” (V.S.

5.29)

kanya daana ( bestowal of bride )

The father of the bride or the authorised person is called upon by the priest to

recite the following statement of intent or recites it on the bestower’s behalf.

The ‘statement of intent’ or Saṅkalpa is recited before every ritual act and

comprises the recitation of the astrological parameters governing the day, the

place and the reason for the act.

Harih om tatsat. Govinda, Govinda, Govinda, with the permission of the

Supreme Being Lord Vishnu, in this period during the second half of the

life-span of the demiurge Brahma, during the aeon of the White Boar,

during the universal rule of Vaivasvata Manu in the 28th period, during

the first quarter of the age of Kali, on the planet Earth in land south of

mount Meru, in the Golden Land, in the country of …………. in the

metropolis of ……….., in the year .................... of the 60 year Jovian

cycle, in the .................. solstice, during the .................. season, in the

month of ...................... in the .................. fortnight, on the ..................

lunar day, on a .............. day under the constellation of .................... with

auspicious conjunctions, and all the planets being benevolently disposed;

The bride is of the clan, of ................. the great grand daughter of

................................. the grand daughter of .............................. the

daughter of .............................. by the name of ............................... ; she

is the embodiment of Lakshmi the preserving Energy of the Lord;

she is free of faults, healthy & long-lived and desirous of a husband, She is

well adorned and honoured and has with her Prajapati the lord of

creation and progeny. This woman is bestowed upon you for the

performance of your mutual social and religious duties as householders,

for raising offspring and for companionship. May the devas, Sacred

Fire, Teachers and Brahmins bear witness to this union.

coconut is then placed in the groom’s right hand. The bride’s mother pours water

over the coconut while the following verses are recited ;—

“This daughter is well adorned and bedecked with gold. I, desirous of

attaining the realm of Vishnu, give her to you O [embodiment of ]

Vishnu.”

“The Supreme Being who resides in the hearts of all beings, and all the

gods are witnesses. My daughter is entrusted to you so that you may

fulfil your mutual obligations to your forefathers [by begetting

offspring].”

“This daughter well-dressed, righteous, well-mannered and intelligent

is united with you in matrimony so that you may fulfil your social and

religious duties, for prosperity and fulfilment of desires.”

The couple then recite the kāma-stuti or hymn in praise of Love together:—

Kāma Stuti

“Who is giving what and to whom? Love is the Giver and Love the

Receiver. Love has entered into the Ocean of Being. Through Love I

receive you. O Love all this is for you.” ( Atharvana.V. 3.29.7)

. Agni--sthāpanam

(Establishing the sacred fire)

The sacred fire which is to be the witness to the vows is now kindled.

the sacred fire ( agni devata) acts as a medium or a mediator between humans(people in material realm)

and the devas in spiritual realm.

7.. Pratijña

(Vows by the couple)

Groom — dharme ca arthe ca, kāme ca, imāṃ nāticarāmi ||

Bride — dharme ca arthe ca, kāme ca, imā nāticarāmi ||

“In our mutual pursuit of spiritual development, in our mutual financial

arrangements and in our mutual pursuit of pleasure and intimacy I shall never do

the wrong thing by you.”

8. Śubha dṛṣṭii

(Auspicious gazing)

The couple are requested to look at each other without breaking their gaze as the

following verse is recited;—

“Om. Gaze gently upon each other, never be hostile to each other, be

tender to birds and animals, of cheerful mind, beautiful in your glory, the

parents of heroes, be devoted to the gods, be the bestowers of happiness,

be good and kind to us, and to all creatures.” (Rig V.10.85.44)

“Om. To us, O God, bring her, kind to her brothers; bring her, O Lord of

the Universe, kind to her husband and her children. O Creator of the

Universe bring her along with prosperity.” (Athar V.14.1.62)

“O Woman, Soma knew you first, and then the Gandharva, thirdly Agni

knew you, your fourth husband is one born of woman.” (Athar V. 14.2.3.)

“Soma gave you to the Gandharva, the Gandharva gave you to Agni, O

Agni transfer her now to me along with prosperity and progeny.” (AtharV.

14.2.4)

Soma being the moon has control over the growth of the young girl  

(according to yogic sciences woman's body works under

cycles of moon and male body with sun ( sankranti to sankranti) 

, thereafter as

her body begins to mature the Gandharva who governs beauty, music, art takes

control of her and directs her maturation, finally when she reaches puberty Agni

— fire, takes over and creates an impulse towards sexuality and the desire for

procreation. So these 3 are said to be a woman’s first companions, the husband

then is her fourth.

9. Pradhāna Homam

A fire sacrifice is then done. The mantras vary among the various procedure

manuals. These are the most common mantras that are recited.

"O Lord Varuna listen now to my invocation. Be gracious even now. I

approach you seeking your protection".

O Varuna! Praised by Vedic hymns, may I reach your refuge for which

I long, through these oblations. I offer you abundant praise, withhold

your anger now and enlighten us. Hail! (RigV. 4.1.5 )

O Agni! Mollify the anger of the gods and Lord Varuna. The Most

Worshipful, the Best-Conveyer, the Most-Resplendent as you are,

With these oblations we express our gratitude; turn away from us all

them that hate us. Hail! (RigV. 4.1.4 )

O Agni! Foremost amongst the gods, protect us at dawn and during the

day and night. May we never be hindered, grant us ever expanding

happiness, O you who are easily invoked. Hail! This is an offering to

Agni and Varuna.

O Agni! You are our refuge and mental solace. O Bearer-of-oblations,

vouchsafe to us healing remedies. Hail! This is an offering to Agni.

(TB.2.4.1.9)

10. Pāṇi grahaṇam

(Holding Hands)

The groom takes the bride's right hand and recites the following mantras:—

“I take your hand for wellbeing so that together we may attain to old age

in happiness. The Sovereign Cosmic Principles; Enjoyment [Bhaga],

Aspiration [Aryaman], Creativity [Savitar] and Completeness

[Purandhri] have united us for the performance of our duties as

householders.” (RigV 10.85.36)

“You are Primal Nature — I am all-pervading Spirit — You are Nature.

I am the Sky — You are the Earth. I am the seed — You are the bearer. I

am mind — You are Speech. I am the melody — You are the words.”

“May we remain together until old age, loving each other, delighting in

each other, with our minds in harmony with each other, appreciating

each other’s ideas, views and feelings. May we discover life together for

an hundred autumns, may we live together for an hundred autumns, and

may we listen to each other attentively for an hundred autumns.”

11.Granthi bandhanam

(tying the knot )

An appointed member of the family then ties the hems of the couples’ garments

together.

mantra recited

"With the bonds of the food that you eat together, with the many-colored

thread of life; with the knot of truth I bind together your minds and

your hearts."

12.laja homa #1

(Offering of Puffed-rice)

The bride’s brother or a substitute places puffed rice in the bride’s cupped palms

— the groom places his palms below hers.

“This woman thus prays to God as she offers oblations of grains; long

live my husband! Yea, a hundred autumns let him live!” (AtharV 14.2.63)

The couple circumambulate the fire with the bride in front while the priests chant

the following mantra:—

“Primordial God, in obedience to your command, we have brought the

bride along with the marriage procession, Give her now to her husband

along with future progeny.” (RigV. 10.85.38)

13.Asmarohanam

(Treading upon the mill-stone)

The couple stop to the north of the fire where a millstone has been placed. They

stand opposite each other touching the stone with their right feet. They can either

hold hands of the bride places her hands upon the groom’s shoulders.

“Tread upon this stone, be you firm and steadfast as this stone, in all

your tribulations, pressing underfoot all negativity and sorrow.”

14.Laja homa #2

The bride’s brother places puffed rice in the bride’s cupped palms for a second

time — the groom places his palms below hers.

“May this maiden sacrificing here in the fire be completely united to

her husband, O Aryaman grant you this, that they may never be parted.”

The couple circumambulate the fire for a second time with the bride in front

while the priests chant the following mantra:—

O Agni, give long life and energy to this couple, May they both live

for an hundred autumns. (AtharV. 14.2.1 RigV.10.85.39)

15.laja homa  #3

The bride’s brother places puffed rice in the bride’s cupped palms for a third time

— the groom places his palms below hers.

“Aryaman, you are the personification of Spiritual Aspiration,

mysterious are you. O Self-sustainer, as a kind friend, with streams of

milk they anoint you, when you makes wife and husband one-minded.”

(RigV.5.3.2.)

The couple circumambulate the fire for a third time with the bride in front:—

Guide them through tribulations As easily as one passes through

rivulets of water. (RigV 2.7.3)

The couple sit down and the groom recites the following sloka in praise of

Sarasvati. Sarasvati is the consort of the creator Brahma and is the

personification of creative energy or śakti. Creation or rather emanation

according to Hindu philosophy proceeds by means of vibration or sound.

 The process of emanation and transformation is cyclical — evolution and

involution is the form of a pulsating universe. Thus Sarasvati is also the

goddess of speech and information (learning). 

The bride is the means of procreation and is identified with Sarasvati and praised as such.

16. Gatha ganam 

O Sarasvati Goddess of learning and eloquence, the source of wellbeing,

O Gracious One, You whom I praise are the source of all

creation. (Apastamba Mantra Bramhan 1.3.5)

It is in you the whole creation arose and in whom it is sustained and

into whom it is ultimately diṣolved. Today I shall sing that song which

is the highest glory of women.

17.Final offering

Together holding the winnowing basket the couple offer all the rest of the puffed

rice.

To the Lord of Bliss all Hail!

They then circumambulate the fire for the fourth time this time the groom leads.

The significance of this rite is the affirmation of roles within the family. The first

three rounds represents the three goals of human aspiration — Dharma =

religious, spiritual, moral and ethical duties and obligations; Artha = domestic

financial management and mutual prosperity;

 Kāma = pleasure, recreation, sex and procreation, all these three aspirations are controlled by the wife, hence she

leads for the first three rounds. The fourth round indicates Mokṣa =

“emancipation” on a material level — freedom from poverty, danger — the

husband’s duty is to provide for the material needs of the family,

 to protect from dangers and to afford status in society. On a spiritual level it is the duty of the

husband to pursue the higher spiritual knowledge and enlightenment in order to

teach, guide and benefit the family.

18 .veni mochanam ( releasing lock of hair) 

The groom releases a few locks of the bride’s hair to symbolically liberate the

bride from her parental control.

O Bride! I now free you from the restrictions of your parents,

wherewith your blessed father had bound you. I now establish you with

your consort in the practice of Dharma, in the realm of virtuous

actions. (Rig Veda 10.85.24).

19. Saptha padi ( rite of seven steps) 

The couple take seven steps together either towards the east or the west. These

are the first seven steps in the journey of life together and each one represents an

area of life that needs to be worked upon in order to achieve a perfect marriage.

According to Hindu canon law the marriage is finalised after the seventh step.

1. Take the first step with me for nourishment. May Lord Vishnu guide

us.

(Good eating habits and nutrition is the basis of a healthy relationship)

2. Take the first step with me for health. May Lord Vishnu guide us.

(Not only should we eat healthy food and timely meals but we should also live a

healthy life-style which includes exercise and avoidance of bad habits like

smoking, binging and gambling)

3. Take the third step with me for prosperity & security.

(When we are healthy and fit we can work hard and achieve success,

prosperity and security.)

4. Take the fourth step with me for consummate bliss

(The central element and one of utmost importance is a health sex life.)

5. Take the fifth step with me for worthy offspring.

(The hope is for children that will be wanted, desired, cherished and raised

with great affection and skill in order to produce worthy citizens and Dharma

practitioners!)

6. Take the sixth step with me for enjoyments according to the

seasons.

(Playing together, taking vacations together and generally enjoying the good

things of life together is also an essential element in a happy marriage.)

7. Take the seventh step with me for friendship.

(The culmination of the journey of marriage is a perfection of friendship.)

Romantic love is not mentioned in the context of marriage because it is fickle

short-lived and unsustainable. What does sustain a married couple through all the

tribulations and turmoil of marriage is an abiding friendship.

Bride now sits to the groom’s left — close to his heart and the couple recite

together:—

You are my friend in life through these seven steps; may I attain your

friendship, may our friendship bind us together; may we never cease

being friends, may our intentions be of one accord, may our radiance be

one, and our minds united.

 We are united in harmony and affection,

radiant with kind thoughts, enveloped in enjoyment and strength, united

are our minds, our vows and our hearts.

20. Abhyuk sanam (Sprinkling with Holy Water)

The priests now sprinkle the couple with holy water while chanting the

following:—

O Waters! you are beneficent, so grant to us nourishment that we may

behold great delight. Grant us a share in that great bliss that you

possess, like Mothers in their tender solicitous love. To you we come

gladly for Him, to whose abode you lead us on. Make us pure through

wisdom and grant us to be reborn with splendour.

21. surya darshana

(The Prayer to the Sun)

The couple then either go outside to look at the Sun or stay where they are and

pretend to see the sun:—

May we continue to see for an hundred autumns, may we discover life

together, may we live together, may we listen to beneficial advice, may

we communicate well, may we never be defeated for an hundred

autumns, thus may we forever continue to pursue the path to

enlightenment.

22. hradaya sparsha 

(Touching the hearts)

The couple touch each other’s hearts:—

May our hearts be united in love, may our thoughts be in harmony, may

we respond to each other’s requests, may we walk together and be

helpful to each other.

(Donning the tokens of marriage.)

The sacred necklace is then placed around the bride’s neck

Om I tie this sacred thread [I place this sacred ornament] around your

neck, so that we may live long together, and remain together enjoying

prosperity for an hundred autumns.

OR Rings are exchanged

I place this ring which is a symbol of my love upon your finger — may

we live together for a hundred autumns.

24.sindur dharanam

A red dot is placed on the forehead of the bride by the groom and a little

vermilion paste is also placed in the parting of her hair.

Highly auspicious is this bride, come congratulate her; wish her a

married life filled with her Husband's love, and then repair to your

respective dwellings. (Rig V.10.85.33)

Fair wealth O Savitar, today, tomorrow, fair wealth produce for us each

day that passes. May we through this our song, O God, be happy

gainers of a fair and spacious habitation. (Y.V. 8:6)

25. Ashirvaadam

(Blessing)

Be an empress over your father-in-law, an empress over your motherin-

law, be an empress over your husband's sisters, and an empress over

his brothers too. (RV.10.85.46)

Those who are at cross purposes and opposed to the wedded couple

may they not succeed. May the hard path of life be croṣed by pleasant

journey. May all the forces of evil shrink away. (RV.10.85.32)

O Bounteous Indra, make this bride blessed in her fortune and her

children, confer upon her ten children, and may her husband be like

unto the eleventh. (R.V.10.85.45)

26. ācharya sambhavanam

(Giving Honorarium to the priests)

A formal presentation of honorarium is given to the officiating priests. A tray is

prepared with some fruit, flowers, betel leaves and nuts along with a coconut

which is a substitute for the cow which should be give as the wedding fee.

Usually the price of the cow is substituted.

27.mandap udhvasanam and prasthavanam

(Dismantling of the canopy and departure)

The priest then calls 4 women and performs the maṇḍapa udvāsanam. After

some valedictory prayers the women being dismantling the maṇḍap.

The couple make their way to the car and as the bride gets in the priests chant the

following mantra:—

Bride, radiant as the Sun, mount this all-hued, golden-tinted, strongwheeled,

highly brilliant car, gently rolling, bound for the world of

Rita. Make for your husband a happy bridal procession.

(RV.10.85.20)

The mother of the bride or another sumangali (married woman) goes to the

vehicle and anoints the driver with tilak.

She pours holy water over the right wheel of the car and anoints it with sandalwood

paste, red-powder and some rice grains.

A coconut is then placed under the wheel and the car is slowly driven over the

coconut to break it.